Just imagine...life without Veggie Tales

....no Veggie Tales?  What?!  No "Larry Boy"?  No "Cheeseburger Song"?  No talking, walking tomatoes without arms or legs?  What a travesty that would be!!
Sounds silly doesn't it?  Yes, we love the Jesus lovin' veggies in our house, but a travesty?  Probably not.

But now, imagine this...

...being imprisoned, burned, hung, beheaded, crucified, and worse IN FRONT OF YOUR CHILDREN for having a Veggie Tales book in your home.  Why?  Because Larry talks about God.  For the record, I have not heard of this happening over our cucumber friend, but stories similar to this happen EVERY SINGLE MINUTE of our days.  People being tortured over having a CORNER of a page of a Bible, or because they were heard whispering to their children about God's love for them. 

Just because we don't want to hear about it, or see pictures of it, doesn't mean it isn't happening.  This happened to close to 156,000 Christians in 1998.  I cannot wrap my brain around what the number would be today.

What got me thinking on this?  People have been posting the last couple of days on FB what they are thankful for.  I tried all day yesterday to think of something amusing or meaningful to post, but I just couldn't.  They all seemed insignificant.  People are also posting opinions about the upcoming election and political/religious views on everything from the hurricane to what the candidate's wives wear.  It gets mind-numbing scrolling through all of it.  However, through it all I have found my significant thing to be grateful for.

I am beyond THANKFUL for the political/religious posts.  "Why?", you ask?  Because it means we still have freedom of religion in this country.  And if you think God has no place in politics, you better think again.  Verses such as, "Blessed is the nation whose God is the Lord..." Psalm 33:12 plus many, many more tell us so.  Look at all the countries that have leaders that have banned Bibles and other "Christian" paraphernalia?  Do you think the people living in those countries think politics and religion don't cross??

Besides in the political arena, what about our day-to-day lives?  Are we taking our freedom for granted?  Are we trying so hard to keep our "religious" views to ourselves that we are forgetting the people that fought for them, are still fighting for them?  No, I don't mean shouting from the rooftop that you are Baptist, or Catholic, or even a Muslim... those are, afterall,  just man made religions.  What about your relationship/love affair with the Almighty God??  What about HIM?  Our freedom of religion allows us to share what HE does for us, is doing in us, and is doing through us.  Don't be so concerned with keeping your views private that it becomes denial, "..but whoever denies me before men, I will also deny before my Father in heaven.."  Matthew 10:33.  So maybe it IS time to "shout it from the rooftops" what your Lord means to you? 

"Love the Lord with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your strength.  these commandments that I give you today are to be upon your hearts.  Impress them on your children.  Talk about them when you sit at home, and when you walk along the road.  When you lie down and when you get up...."  Deuteronomy 6:5-8

I CANNOT imagine not being able to sing "Jesus Loves Me" with my children, hear about their stories and see the excitement on their faces from Vacation Bible School or church camp, go to church PUBLICLY, dance around my kitchen to "Funky Jesus Music", encourage a friend with a scripture or a worship song I think would uplift them, and no, I cannot imagine not being able to sit on my couch with a little (or two) in my lap and watch Veggie Tales. 

http://www.jesusfreaks.net/

I have gotten a lot of mixed responses from my last blog post, publicly positive ones....but privately not so much. That is ok. I expected it. Does it still hurt to hear? Of course. I wouldn't be human if it didn't. However, no regrets.

God has been nudging me for awhile about be more open with the vision/convictions of our family. As I stated in my prior blog, I am well aware this isn't the place God has called every family to be. There are different things we feel strongly about (because of experiences) and are convicted on than even our closest friends/family. God knows what our family needs to be equipped with for the certain things he has planned for us. As most of you have read before, we have had struggles and we have baggage that not a lot of other families can relate to. Does this mean that I meant to imply that we are better parents, are holier than you, or think your family is going to hell in a hand basket? Absolutely not. These are the choices we make for ours. Not all of them have been easy, or came about overnight. Nor have we always agreed on all of them. But we know our history's', we know our children, and we know what God telling us...for today.

For today, He is leading other families to home school...but not us.
For today, He is leading other families to not eat meat/corn/wheat, etc....not us.
For today, He is leading other families to not use antibiotics....not us.
For today, He is leading other families to limit their sugar intake to one serving a day....not us.
For today, He is leading other families to not allow the girls to wear makeup or pants....not us.
For today, He is leading other families to leave everything behind and go minister in a third world country...but not us.

Do I think these families are judging me because they have shared this info and reasoning behind it? No. Do I always understand the "whys". Nope. Sometimes do I think some of that is a little cuckoo cachoo? Yep. But I am not who they have to answer to.

Again, I am secure in posting our choices. I feel that if one family can know they are not alone, or one child can be prevented from being bullied or seeing a pornographic image, then the hate mail is all worth it.

We are the minority...

...and that is A-OK with us. In fact, it's more than ok, it is wonderfully comforting. It means we are doing something right. If we looked/acted/sounded the same as everyone else, wouldn't that mean we have chosen to be "in" the world and "of" it? Shouldn't we, as a christian family, be striving to be set apart?
We have been getting much flack lately about what our family chooses, or moreso, what we as parents are choosing for our family. We expect that. 1 Peter 2:11, 12 tells us that people will accuse us of doing wrong when we live good lives among pagans, but yet they will see our good deeds and glorify God. People have all kinds of opinions on what is right/wrong/holy and that is ok. We understand that even among other christian families, we may choose to allow/not allow different things into our home. So, for those of you who have been wondering and/or questioning our "why", here is what we choose.


* We choose to limit the amount of television and movies our children watch, music they listen to, and gaming devices they play....and we monitor the things they do.

Why? Besides the obvious filth on TV and radio (even some commercials embarrass me), we choose for them to use their imagination...to communicate with each other (and us)....to be physically active. They play outside, draw, do boardgames, write songs and stories, read books, make friendship bracelets, build animal "habitats", etc....

* We choose for our children to dress like children. And hope that as adults, our daughters will not choose to dress in child size clothes.

Why? Because we are teaching them modesty and purity. We believe it is not ok for our daughters to wear things advertising their "goods", such as booty shorts or clothing with things written across their derrieres. Nor will allow them to go without "backs and side" on their underwear because all the other girls in middle school do. We teach them they can have a certain amount of pride in their appearance, yet people liking them or not should not depend on how short their shorts are the brand of shoes they are wearing. We for sure want them to understand that beauty does stem from within and that they should not dress as to be a stumbling block for anyone. As for the boys, we want them to not think of girl's as "a piece of meat" and pray that the parents of their future wives are helping to teach their daughters about purity as well.


* We choose to not allow our children on any social network such as Facebook, Twitter, MySpace, etc...or to surf the internet.

Why? Well, the obvious reason is that FB age requirements is 13. It does not state this as a suggestion, it is a rule. This is not even the same as a PG13 movie where they can still do it if the parents are ok. It says no one under 13, period. So, why would we be ok with teaching our children that they don't have to follow rules? Why are ours so special they would be the exception? Our children are learning from us daily. If they see us breaking/bending rules, they will too. If we lie for them, they will lie too. It bothers me that so many teachers/leaders/adults in the lives of our children encourage them to have an account or they are "out of the loop". Since when do we encourage our children to "follow the crowd"? The rule says 13, no matter how many under 13 year olds are doing it, it is still wrong. Just like smoking, drinking, driving, voting, fighting in wars...there are age restrictions for a reason. We are not the type that will buy them cigs/beer and have them drink at home at any age because they are going to "do it anyways". This doesn't mean at 13 our children will get accounts, that is just the age they would be "legal" too. Just like I pray at 18 they don't start smoking just because they can.
Now the not so obvious reason we won't allow it, SHOULD be obvious. We don't want open the door of the world opened anymore for our children than it already is. Oh, I know I know...you monitor your kids' account. Yea ok. I monitor my own account and I still have things come across my screen that I wish I had never allowed into my spirit...visual pictures as well as the written word. We can't control what "friends" of approved "friends" say or post under comments or on walls, nor can we control the spam videos that pop up. Besides the fact that we don't want our children in an adult forum. They have no business knowing what their friends' parents are struggling with, who they are dating now, and seeing vacation pics of them in their bikinis.
I recently deleted all minors off of my account. It was not easy for me. I felt I was messing with children's self-esteem issues. Be honest with yourself, if someone doesn't accept your request or deletes you, you start questioning why. I don't care who you are, you do, even a little. There is enough issues our children face on a day to day basis...peer pressure, bullying, etc... We are NOT going to help contribute to another struggle for them. I am reminded of the commercial of the teenage girl sitting in front of a computer, talking about how she convinced her parents to get FB accounts so they could "live"....she said they were only up to 19 friends though. The screen flashes to a shot of her parents out biking or hiking something of the sort, then back to her in front of the computer. She says she has 6oo and something friends, and that that was "living". Really? Do I want my children's self-esteem and for them to feel "alive" based on their friend count???
Besides all of that, we have another issue that some don't, we have the donor and oven and all their "minions" that could/would try contact the children if they spotted an open door. We are not cracking that door at this time.

* We choose for our children not to have cell phones until necessary.

Why? Remember the days when getting your own phone line in your room was a HUGE deal? Or even just being able to talk on the phone being a privilege? I sure wish that still was in place. If I see one more child at a birthday party, at the park, at a concert, a holiday function ON THE PHONE instead of enjoying the moments I will scream! These are not teenagers either, 8-12 year olds! What in the world is so important in their lives that they need a phone on them 24/7? In a world where cyberbullying, sexting, texting while driving deaths, etc..is rampant why again would we add another vehicle for hurt, deceit, or even death? Why does a 9 year old need an Iphone? I don't even own one! Along with this, again, I am in shock at all the parents that allow their children to bring their cell phones to school. It is AGAINST THE RULES! You would not send them with a loaded gun. A cell phone, can yes, be just as bad of a weapon. Let us catch one picture of one of my daughters dressing out in PE show up somewhere. Children are taking their own lives over incidences such as that. Oh, I know, again, you told me...it's in case you need to get in touch with them/or them you. That's what the school office is for. Many of us have survived all the way through college without a cell phone.

* We choose to not allow our children to rummage through our cabinets/drawers and help themselves to any food they desire at any time. Nor do we allow caffeinated drinks except on rare occasions.

Why? For one, there are eight of us in this house. We would be spending twice what we do now on groceries if that were the case. Instead, we have snack bags that are filled once weekly with a mixture of healthy snacks (fruit, string cheese) and "sugar" snacks (fruit snacks, Little Debbie cake) that they are allowed to eat out of. If they eat all in one day, that is it for the week. This is teaching them self-control. There are so many people in the world that don't get regular meals, much less a snack. We want our children to be aware of that. To not be glutenous and just eat because it is there.



* We choose not to buy or children everything they want/mention.

Why? We choose to teach them to work, save, earn things they want. We have learned that that is when they most appreciate and take care of things. We are not interested in raising spoiled, whiny brats. We don't want their spouses coming to us one day and telling us that nothing they do is "ever enough". We are teaching them to be content in want, and in plenty. Plus the value of a dollar, and rewards of hard work.

Please understand, this is what WE choose for our family. We are the only two people that will stand accountable for the way our children are raised. Oh don't get me wrong, if you are speaking against our family choices to our children and planting seeds of disrespect/distrust/rebellion into them, then that is on you. We are not under the assumption that all of our children are perfect, or will be perfect adults. In fact, we know that some will rebel, maybe all, at one point. Yet, we cling to this " Train a child in the way he should go, and when he is old he will not turn from it" Proverbs 22:6.



We know that as parents we will make mistakes, and sometimes God will show us where we need to ease up and where we need to tighten up. There are things in our own lives that we struggle with and trying to be more of an example. My beloved smokes. He hates it. He is addicted. I fear our children will one day say, "Well, you do Dad". He knows he needs to quit. He struggles. I was not blessed with an extra dose of compassion/grace. I daily have to remind myself not to be like a Pharisee, cold and rigid. I struggle. We covet your prayers as we are praying for changes...






We pray this over our family...

(photo by Callie Hill Photography)

Yes, I am Having Hospital Anxiety

...but no, not for the reasons you may think. I am not nervous about going into labor, the epidural (this time),or even the delivery itself....I think I have most of that figured out by now. If I have to have a section, well, I may flip my lid then...but as of now, no nerves on that either.

"So what ARE you having hospital anxiety about" you ask? The visitors. Some of you may have seen the question I posted on one of my FB pages about visitors in the hospital. I asked if people rathered "everyone welcome" or "please visit at home". I had mixed responses. I have spoken to gals that said next time they had a baby they would not tell anyone when they were going to deliver so they could have some rest and privacy, and I have spoken to others who love the attention and welcome the swinging door in the hospital. I believe how one feels is based on past experiences and personality types, as our feelings and thoughts on most things are based on those.

I am going to tell you what the "Friends and Family Visitor's Guide" that Woman's Hospital hands out says. Know that when I read this, I just laughed....and wondered, why do they give it to the patient and not post this HUGE on the hospital doors??

Visiting New Patients
Having a baby...it can be the happiest, most exciting, most challenging and stressful time a family can have. Everyone is excited and anxious to spend time with the new family member. Yet this is the most important and precious time for Mom, Dad, and baby to get to know each other, learn about each other, and become a family. That can be hard to do while entertaining a room full of visitors.
For that reason, we encourage all visitors to be very thoughtful about time spent in the hospital with the new family. We suggest the following:

* Talk up front to the new parents and find out what they really want. Sometimes they are reluctant to tell loved ones that they need some time alone with the new baby. Ask, and see what they say.

* Offer to come visit in a week or so at home.

* If they new parents really do want you there, keep the visits short so Mom and baby don't get overtired.

* Be careful how much the new baby is passed from person to person. Over stimulation and fussiness can result (I believe from MOM AND BABY). Also, this can expose the baby to colds and other problems.

*Please do not hang out in the hallways.

Be aware that this is just a short list, it also discusses bringing all your children, bringing food in, wearing strong perfumes, not turning on the TV, etc...

Let me tell you about some of my past hospital experiences, and you decide if I welcome visitors or not....
I have had people blowing up gloves and playing with monitoring equipment while I am having contractions. I have had people bring STRANGERS into the room to meet me for the first time as I am just about to breastfeed. I have had people come in turn the TV on, prop their feet up and hang out like we were on vacation...all the while with me having to pee so bad but being embarrassed to get up with all the garb I had on. I have had someone come in and give the baby a bottle, knowing I was only wanting to breastfeed. I have had people call and say they were on the way to visit, only to show up several hours later when I was finally able to rest. I have had people come in and pick my brand new baby up out of the bassinet without asking...and then pass it around the room. I have had people post pics to websites and such of my brand new baby without my permission and before I had the chance to announce. I have had people think they need to visit me both or all three days I am in the hospital, people that I normally only saw every few weeks.
With this past delivery, I did not sleep for 36 hours while in the hospital. I had the horrible shakes from having trouble coming off the anesthesia, my legs/ankles/feet blew up 3 times their size, and I was leaking out of every possible area...YET people kept coming in, and coming back...no hints were taken...so guess what, I broke down. For those of you that were there during that moment, again I apologize...I was just SO tired and so ready for some privacy. I cannot believe I let it get as far as I did. Usually I have no problem telling people what I think or how I feel about something....but for some reason new moms (and dads) feel like they have to cater to everyone else's expectations and feelings of what is THEIR rights with the new baby. Guess what, you have none. You don't have the right to make the parents feel obligated or guilty about having you in the delivery room/recovery room, etc... You don't have the right to take the first pictures or hold it for the first time. You don't have the right to come and go as you please or bring whomever you want with you. You don't have the right to post pictures of someone else's newborn on FB without their permission. You don't have the right to unclothe the baby to look at it's feet, etc without permission...nor do you have the right to put a bottle/pacifier in it's mouth.
I know that I am not the only mom that has a hard time transitioning from the "safe inside" phase to "everyone wants a piece of it" phase. We have had this baby all to ourselves, caring for it...nurturing it, loving it for 9 months....it is not easy to watch almost strangers or even family passing it around your hospital room while you are feeling like death warmed over in the bed and feeling like everyone has forgotten you had anything to do with it.

So with this being our last baby, I am not holding my tongue this time. PLEASE be respectful...please CALL and find out how things are and if visitors are welcome...please know that this is not personal against anyone...I just want to ENJOY this bonding experience for this last go round. The nurses, etc.. that come in are hard enough to get used to. I am so thankful that we have so many people that love us and want to be to involved in every aspect of our lives, but frankly when I am trying to recover from delivering an eight pound or so baby out of me...I don't need you to be involved. When I am trying to discover my newborns facial features and likenesses for the first time, I would rather you not there telling me he looks like Great Uncle So and So. Yes, I am being blunt...yes some may think I am being rude...I don't apologize, not this time. I am not going to apologize for wanting to bond with my husband and my new son, during the only hours of his life it may just be the three of us again....

It Always Happens When It's Cold

In an October, I found out my husband of 2 months (the donor) had been cheating on me the whole time. In a November I lost two babies, one by natural miscarriage and one by a D & C. In a December I found out that fairytales really don't come true...that frogs really do have warts, stepmothers are always considered wicked, and evil queens do reign. So I guess that seeing as this is the first really cold day of the year, I shouldn't be surprised that today was one of those days that I had to pick myself up off the floor.
Only God knows why He thinks I am so strong. I can only trust that this too, like all the other things, will only make me stronger. I do believe that the reason these things always happen to me when it's cold is because maybe if my body is already numb, my heart won't hurt so bad.....
Have I told you before that I don't like the cold???

God Chills

Where to begin? There is so much background to be shared, so many feelings involved, yet so little time to get it all in! I know y'all are waiting (and not so patiently I might add) to hear the details of yesterday's events. However, I need to say that if you have not heard or read our whole story, please go back to my previous blog posts. This will help you to understand why this final leg of this particular journey is so meaningful. So, I ask that that's where you begin...at the beginning...before you read this, the finality of it all.

January 23, 2010 I ended "Plan B Revisited" asking you to be in prayer with me, as our mountain climbing continued. I told you we needed "closure with the oven" and that "it was all a matter of God's timing"...and boy did I peg it about the timing, even though I didn't always believe it. Again, during this process God showed me over and over again that it is surely HIS timing, not mine. There have been so many times I thought "This is it! It's over!", when it truly was not. I now see that He was bringing this full circle, to again, give us a testimony that only He can give. Not by anything we did, didn't do, or wanted to do...but only by His doing.

I mentioned briefly in a past post that the oven was out on bond for some serious criminal charges (arrested Dec 08), which I thought for sure she would have gone to trial on by now and then all our troubles would be over, right? WRONG! Apparently our judicial system takes things really slowly when you want it to move quickly, or maybe it is the work of God's hand to make our story complete. I don't know for sure, but I DO know that has made me sit back in awe that DESPITE us being able to use her criminal charges against her in a trial concerning the children (innocent until proven guilty!), we were still shown favor. In June 09 the oven was ordered supervised visitation, which consisted of only 3 hours every 4th weekend. I at the time was angry at this, because we had filed for her rights revoked because of the charges against her, but again, no conviction=no crime. The judge however, did decide to persue her nonpayment of child support, which we had filed along with getting her rights revoked to try and prove her no responsibility for the children. Really, this was the least of our concern. It ended up putting US in the hole with lawyer fees, days off work for court appearances, and court costs for her being in contempt month after month. Every time we went, the judge would give her "two more weeks", "one more chance", which in turn meant more money and work time lost for our family. "Where is the justice in that?", I would ask. We knew she wouldn't pay anything, we didn't really care, we just wanted her away from the kids! During one of these contempt hearings we were made into the "bad guys" by the judge, enough so that she ordered my beloved to parenting classes! "How to parent together while living apart". WHAT? He went, paid his $60, got his certificate...again, money and time from his family...lost. Finally, after over 8 months of hearings, the judge found her in contempt for nonpayment of support and sentenced her to 30 days in jail. WOO HOO! "Now we are getting somewhere", I thought. No visit, no phone calls for a month if she is in jail, right? Again, I was WRONG. Did you know that 17 days in jail=$16,000 child support and you can never be punished for nonpayment for it again? 17 days of peace, that's what I had...then the "why's" and "what now's" came rushing back, along with the thoughts of "it will never end!".

Remember during all this court drama, she is still getting supervised visitations. Out of the 10 visits that she ended up having, 7 of them she showed up late. Not just a little late, 45 min-1 hour late, for a 3 hour only visit. During one particular visit, she came 30 minutes late, stayed a bit, then LEFT for an hour and came back. Now really, do you think she truly wanted to see the children? And don't think that just because it is supervised that nothing dramatic will happen. That was wrong thinking on my part too. Although we had 2 people that love the children and did their very best to try to prevent harm coming to the kids, we found that if evil wants to get in, it will. Things whispered in ears, notes hidden in DS cases...plus out loud promises of the kids getting to come live with them (the oven and her mom), and declarations that if she went to jail it was because of us, that she has never done anything wrong....plus so so much more. All of this causing so much confusion and chaos in the kid's hearts and minds, which in turn caused them to come back here with bad attitudes and rebellious spirits, and in turn continued to cause more and more division in our trying to be blended family.

You want to know that straw that broke the camel's back don't you. Tell me the 'kicker' you say. Ok, get ready! During the supervised visit in May, the oven SHOPLIFTED in front of the children. That's right. During a 3 hour visitation she stole in front of her kids. One of them saw the whole thing unfold, told the supervisor on way home, and then told me 2 days later that she wanted to tell the police. This poor child could not believe that she would do that in front of her, when she only had a little time to spend with them. So we went to police and made a statement, all the while I am telling this child how proud I am that they would do this, that it is called having "integrity", and God will so honor that. The police get in touch with the oven, who denies any wrongdoing, and said the person who reported her was a liar. The police told her it was her child that reported. She said the child is a liar. The next morning, the oven told her lawyer and ours that she wanted to sign her rights of the kids over to my beloved. She stated that if we could brainwash the children enough to lie about her then she doesn't have a chance. He lawyer withdrew as her counsel immediately. Now don't you think you would be jumping up and down celebrating this victory??? I was! Oh wait, but again, I was wrong! No victory, just another hurdle in this race.

You see, she thought she could just sign the kids over to my beloved and be done with it. It doesn't work that way. By LA law there has to be someone to step in and take over the lost guardianship of the children, someone else to take responsibility, if she chose to relinquish those rights. Which meant that she would have to consent for me to adopt them. HA HA HA HA HA! Do you really think she was going to do that?! In fact, her words were "I will only sign them over to you (my beloved), if SHE can NEVER adopt them". Don't you know that I am the enemy, the reason her life is so bad? She blamed me for the loss of her marriage and her kids. I wasn't even around when they got divorced or went through custody so talk about stinkin thinkin! But guess what? We filed for me to adopt them anyways. Of course she didn't return any of our lawyers phone calls about consenting, nor did she meet with social services or file a motion to contest. We didn't hear a word from her after she was served the papers, (which her mom rec'd on her behalf, this will be important later).

As soon as I get the court date notification in the mail, I turn into a crazy person again. The nerves! The "what if's"! The doubting of all I knew God to be and to have done before on our behalf. The meeting with social services was a worry. What would the kids tell her? Are they gonna say they don't want me to adopt them? I literally stayed up nights thinking about all the ways it could go. We knew that we couldn't legally bring up her criminal charges in court, but could with social services, so this was one thing that brought me comfort. Especially when I called a friend at the DA's office and they told me she was numerous pending charges against her that we didn't even know about! Including the fact that they charged her with delinquency of a juvenile along with the shoplifting in front of the kids! Plus, she puts me on the phone with the investigator handling her more serious charges and he tells me that the oven is facing many years of jail time! However, he can't tell me when her trial will be, they don't know yet, but is still months away.

So, my thoughts turn to postponing the adoption until she is convicted, because then I KNOW it will go through for sure. I call our lawyer, and she advises that we move forward with the already set date, but if this judge doesn't grant it we will file again when there is a conviction. Ok, I can live with that. It gives me a reason to not worry so so much, bc after all, one day all this will be over.

The kids and I go to meet with social services. We meet with the same lady who met with us in our prior adoption case! She is familiar with us and is confidant that all will be ok, except she says that she won't take all the info I had gotten from the courthouse on the pending cases against the oven. Oh no! If she doesn't put it in her report how will the judge know?! I start to panic a bit, until we are finishing up the meeting and she says, "you know, I think I WILL take all of that and put it all in my report...I feel he needs to see all this". YAY! And then I find out that the kids tell her they DO want me to adopt them, DOUBLE YAY! Whew! One event down.

The day before court is church day. I have to go "expecting"...I will go "expecting"...I MUST go "expecting"...Lord, I need PEACE in this storm! I need reassurance that you are FOR us! During worship He brings to mind the verse Jeremiah 29:11, "For I know that plans I have for you...plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you a hope and a future". My thought was, ok...so, yea I know that verse...it was our youth group verse, so what?! What does that have to do with right now? He told me, it's not about you, it's about the KIDS! It was such an "AHA" moment. The KIDS don't have a hope and a future as long as the oven is involved in their lives! I get it Lord, this is right! Well, maybe I get it...let's go talk and pray with the pastor and see what he says....

The pastor asks me what am I so nervous about? I am nervous about defending myself, about trying to prove that I am better than someone else. He tells me, "You ARE better". I must have made a face, because he continues to tell me that he doesn't mean in an arrogant way, but that my beloved and I desire to raise all these kids in the Lord and that IS better than the alternative they have, and that I needed to stand on that. Then he starts praying, and don't you know it the words out of his mouth are "Lord you promised to give this family a hope and a future, and you said that a house divided against itself cannot stand and as long as [the oven] is in the picture this family will be divided". Of course I am crying my eyes out when I tell him he quoted the exact verse God had given me just an hour before!

August 9, 2010. Court day. My beloved is up at 4:30 am dealing with stomach problems, and I get up at 6 throwing up and nursing my own stomach troubles....

My mom comes over to stay with Lou, 2 children get off to school, and the other 2 get all prettied up in case the judge would like to speak to them. Off we go, nervously. Will she show up? What if she does? What if she doesn't? What will the kids say to the judge? I heard this judge was a JERK and to be prepared for the worst! Will the judge fuss at us for not letting her talk to them the last couple months? So many questions! I post on FB that we are headed that way. I feel better when I know that people are praying for us, thinking of us, joining in this race with us. We decided to keep the kids in another building with my inlaws until the judge wants them, this is in case she shows up...no confusion. We drop the kids and then go into the courthouse. No sign of the oven, or her mom. Usually where one goes, the other is. I have never seen them apart. We wait. We watch all the doors. I am getting more and more anxious...she either needs to get there or don't come, but the not knowing was getting to me. I get a message on my phone that I have a reply on my FB status, it is from my beloved's aunt, and it is Jeremiah 29:11, THE SAME VERSE, quoted. Ok, God! I HEAR YOU! Did you just get "God chills"? I surely did!

Our lawyer finds us and says the judge wants to do the adoption in his chambers, to hurry up and get the kids over so that maybe we can get it all over with in case the oven does show up (remember she is known for being late). We get the kids, another lawyer switches with ours so we can go first, and we wait for our case to be called. Instead, just our lawyer is called back. She is told that the judge has decided to WAIT and see if the oven will come, so we are going to do it in the courtroom instead of his chambers. UGH! We hide the kids with the inlaws in a hallway, and go into the courtroom. We wait through other cases and yuck. Our case called again, and judge says he wants to have bailiff call for oven in all courtrooms and give her more time to show. UGH! We sit through 2 other cases, and then SHE WALKS IN THE DOOR! My first thought, where is her mom? Did she find the kids? Oh no! But then, a peace that I have never known before washed over me, so much so that I questioned, why am I not shaking..she's here! My beloved, meanwhile, is noticeably getting angrier. He says, "If we had just done during our schedule time we'd been out of here already!" I agree, however...I feel that maybe God wanted us to face her, after all, we had to face the donor too. Finally, the judge asks that the courtroom be cleared for us. It's him, the court reporter, our lawyer, my beloved, the oven, and me. Deep breaths. Here goes nothing....

The judge starts off by stating that in LA if a parent ordered to pay child support goes at least 6 months without paying, and has no just cause for not paying, then they LOSE their rights to contest an adoption of the children. However, if that parent can prove payment, or just cause of nonpayment during that time, then they may object to the adoption and would be a trial. He asked our lawyer if it was true that we had filed regarding the nonpayment of child support, and even though that was just a portion of our filings, she said yes. I was flustered for a minute, why didn't she tell him all the reasons?? I was so confused! The judge then turned to the oven and asked her if she understood the allegations of nonpayment against her. She said she did. He asked her if she had anything to say, or prove regarding it...she said, "No, I'm just here to sign the papers". Wait, what?! Did your jaw just drop like ours did? "I'M JUST HERE TO SIGN THE PAPERS"!!!! The judge asked if he understood her right, that she was consenting to me adopting the children. She said yes. They had her repeat it for record sake, and that was it! He had me sworn in and granted me adoption rights! What???? No trial, no defending myself, it's over...just like that? He doesn't even want to talk to the kids? We were walking out of the courtroom, my beloved and lawyer 1st, then the oven, with me following....I grabbed her arm and turned her to me. I told her that for once, she did a very good thing. She said, she knew, but it was hard. I told her I know it was, but that it was best for the kids and to know that they are taken care of. She said, "I know." She asked if she had to wait and sign anything, I asked the lawyer, she said that since she had said it in court on record, there was nothing now for her to sign that she could go. That was it. She walked off, and I broke down. The look in her eyes, so empty...no hope, no future. I know that is not our doing, it is her own choices and consequences of those choices that have caused that in her...but yet, on this one day...she thought of someone besides herself, she made an honorable choice.

To clarify this, I must tell you of the phone message that her mom left on our lawyers office answering machine. While we were waiting for our paperwork, she let me listen to it. I will paraphrase, as I'm sure I cannot remember it all word for word. "Yes, this is [the oven's mother] and I was just informed that my daughter is scheduled to appear in court this morning in the town of Livingston (remember SHE rec'd the court papers!), to sign over the rights of HER children to [my beloved], which will NEVER happen! My daughter does not have a vehicle or a ride to court, nor does she have a lawyer. This will NOT go forward, I object! I expect you to call me back AS SOON as you get this message". So you see, the oven stood on her own two feet for this one. We don't know how she got there, or who she told. But we now understood why her mom was not with her. She made a good choice, praise God! I believe He will continue to work in her heart and life through the rest of the trials she will face.....this does not mean I want her in the children's lives anytime soon, but gives me some hope that for their future, if they desire to see her, she may be a better person.

FINALITY! Oh for so long I have prayed for this! Closure! No more court, lawyers, etc..!! It is a LONG time coming. I am in awe of all that the Lord has done. Through all of our journey he has shown us in such unique ways how much He is FOR our family. I am humbled, again, that He would orchestrate every little detail to fit into HIS perfect timing to make such a testimony that only HE could receive the glory from. Amazing. I will leave you with this verse that I found the day before court...perfect timing, aye?

"But you will not even need to fight. Take your positions; then stand still and watch the Lord's victory. He is with you...do not be afraid or discouraged. Go out against them tomorrow, for the Lord is with you" 2 Chron 20:17.

YAY, we are finally legally blended! Yes, they are happy about this too :)

Happy Earth's Birthday! Wait, wah?

Yep, that's what the daughter of my heart told my beloved when she got up on Sunday morning. "Happy Earth's Birthday"! Um, no...not exactly. But yes, it WAS a birthday, actually TWO that we celebrate on that day. July 4 is not only our Nation's day to celebrate, it is my Aunt's very "unadoptive" birthday. No, she wasn't adopted....no matter what her siblings told her :). So the fourth of July is always a busy day/weekend for us. Here is a glimpse of what we did this year!

Our church, along with a couple others met at a local park for an all-day event. My sisters and their extras came to join us. There was worship music played loud and proud all day, after all...this is still "One Nation Under God", right? The kids played on water slides, spacewalks, a playground, had faces painted, rode on a train....while the adults monitored (kinda sorta), ate, and enjoyed the beautiful weather.







They saved the best for last. SNEAUX! Several tons of snow was piled on the ground for one huge snoball fight. Next year I think there should be one for the children, and one for the big kids....

"Hmm...I don't think I like snow"

"I don't, I really don't"





"I like watermelon, though!"