Thai Style Ribs

Can you say "yuuummmmy"?

I got this recipe from my Southern Living Slow Cooker Cookbook. I use the heck out of that book...have the BBQ stains on it to prove it. I hope you enjoy these as much as we do!

3 1/2 pounds pork baby back ribs, racks cut in half

1 (11.5) can frozen orange-pineapple-apple juice concentrate, thawed and undiluted

3/4 cup soy sauce

1/4 cup creamy peanut butter

1/4 cup minced fresh cilantro

2 Tbs minced fresh ginger (I use the ground kind)

1 garlic clove, pressed

2 teas sugar

Garnish: fresh cilantro

*Place ribs in a large shallow dish or ziploc freezer bag.

*Combine juice concentrate and next 6 ingredients in a small bowl with a wire whisk. Reserve 3/4 cup mixture in refrigerator for dipping. Pour remaining mixture evenly over ribs; cover or seal, and chill 8 hours, turning occasionally.

*Remove ribs from marinade, discarding marinade. Place 1 rack of ribs in bottom of a 6-qt slow-cooker; stand remaining rib racks on their sides around edges of slow cooker. Cover and cook on HIGH 1 hour. Reduce heat to LOW, and cook 5 hours.

*Microwave reserved 3/4 cup sauce until heated through, stir. Serve with ribs. Garnish, if desired.

Plan B Revisited

Ok so, it's taken me a little longer to get back to finishing this decade story. Like I said at the beginning, this has been sort of a cleansing for me. My prayer is that none of this will have any kind of hold on me any longer after I am finished....may what the enemy planned for my destruction, be used for God's glory.

Ended 2007 married to my beloved and with 2 new children of the heart (who came with baggage like us), teaching K4 alongside Becky and Carol, and with desires in my heart still unspoken...
What I didn't mention before, is how very blessed we were to have so many friends and family do so much to make our day so special. I think between the 2 of us we only bought our rings and spent an additional $50 on the wedding....it was surely a blessing from above.

2008

I was now sure that being a "blended" family wasn't all that I thought it would be. My goodness, I had taught preschoolers and lived through heck before, you would think this would be a cakewalk?! Nope, more like walking the tight rope. Always a trying to walk a fine line between what you want for yourself and your marriage, children...and then dealing with the baggage that everyone has brought into the union. And it was a lot of baggage, and it wasn't cute and matchy...it was the kind the rides around the carousel a few times that is only held together by duct tape and string. The kind that nobody wants to claim.

Donor and "oven" decide to make appearances back in our lives this year. At one point they even are dating each other! How wacked out is that?! Of course it didn't last long, they are too much alike.

My beloved and I begin to renovate a house this year, which we were allowed to purchase unexpectedly. Another blessing in disguise, because I tell you, it disguised itself as another "tool" the enemy was using to pull us apart. Blood, sweat, and tears surely went into this house to make it a home.

One of the "hidden" desires of my heart was to have another baby. I wondered what it would be like to bring a "planned" child into the world, with two parents that actually wanted to be it's parents. We decided for me to get off of the pill, and lo and behold a WEEK later, 2 pink lines appeared. Again, many emotions. We still had baggage. We didn't have enough room yet. We had to tell the kids, oh my! Work, what was I going to do? And what about my natural babies, the ones that no longer shared my last name...how was this going to affect them? They would be the odd balls out. But even in the midst of all the questions, the joy that I felt knowing God was blessing us with a miracle of our own, was amazing. We found ourselves saying over and over "this feels SO different from before".

In August, I emailed donor asking if he would consider signing the kids over. His response was that he would think about it, but he still wanted set visitation on paper. WHAT? We just left it alone, for then.

Started 08-09 school year pregnant, and working with Sissy and Carol again. Sissy had told me when she had started back at Comite that she was NOT coming back so I would leave her again to have another baby! Oops! In god's perfect timing, he moved her back into there as I was moving out...

Our family of 6 and a half moved into a finished house in November, praise God! We had an Open House to show off all the hard work. During Thanksgiving my beloved and I took a long vacation to Disney, without the kids! Well, just with the one that was making my stomach expand by the minute! It was truly a magical vacation. Alone with my beloved in the happiest place on Earth.

2009

Ginormous. That's what I was. But I enjoyed every minute, except the charlie horses and leg cramps....


We were surprised with a baby shower from families of some former students, coworkers, friends, and family. It touched my heart to hear things that the women went around and said about me that day. It was then that I realized that all those years weren't so bad, God still was able to use me. Amazing.

My last day at Comite was February 13. This was my 9th class to teach there, and would be my last. Never before was I able to be a SAHM and I so wanted, and needed this chance to try. I started struggling with thoughts though of not having a "purpose" anymore, of not being "productive", or "contributing". It was surely a change for me, and if you know me, you know I don't do well with change. This change, however, has for sure been one for the better.I turned 31 on March 14, welcomed "Sissy Lou" into the world on March 16, and my 1st baby turned 9 on March 21. What a week!

I think I will save "Sissy Lou's" birthday story for another blog, there is much to share!

During these times, I started getting emails from the donor, asking ME if I would look into him signing over his rights. WHAT?! There had to be a catch! Oh there was! You see, support enforcement had found him and was taking money out of his checks. I couldn't believe #1 that they had found him, or that #2 he had a job! Astonished to find out, he is a police officer! How the heck did that happen?! Well, after looking into it we found out that even if he did sign them over he would still be responsible for all the back child support, and it was a large sum. He had not paid all these years. So, he said he would not give up his rights, and in fact he WANTED THE KIDS! I started having anxiety attacks. Two days in particular were really bad, the first after I discovered he paid the lump sum he owed, and then after I read an email he sent me saying he was taking me to fight it our in court. I couldn't get out of bed. This was my worst nightmare. I didn't want to face him in court. We had enough going on with the "oven"! (I have not mentioned that she was involved in some serious charges during Christmas 08, spent time in jail, and is out now on bond awaiting trial....which can't get here soon enough). I got some great encouragement, and my beloved told me he was ready to fight, for"his" kids. Oh be still my heart! One night the girl came to me and asked when she could have the same last name as us. We had not shared our thoughts to her on this yet. I knew it was time to do something.

The first step, we were told, was for my beloved to call donor and ask him "civilly" if he would allow him to adopt the kids. Donor said no, and that he wasn't trying to be a "jerk" or anything but basically thanks for stepping in all this time but I've got it from here. Ok then. "Jerk".

Next step, file petition to adopt anyways. This process involves serving him papers. Great, we have seen how well that has gone in the past! We file, and service is returned first time unrendered. We hire a private server...who approaches donor at the police station, allows him a "courtesy" look at the papers, whereas donor then proceeds to go get "witnesses" and tells him he can drop papers and leave if he wants but nobody will "see" that he ever got them. Are you kidding me?? I, again, start to panic. Now he KNOWS what we are trying to do. I was scared he was going to come after me. We go ahead with meeting with Social Services and getting background checks done anyways. The hearing date is set for September 8. Social Services tells us they tried to contact donor too, and did not get response. Our lawyer tries one last "trick", and finds a way to get it "served" with successfully. She tells us that the worst case scenario is that he show up to contest. She said if that happens, we will most likely have to go through a long, costly trial. Beloved could be refused adoption rights and we would have to go through visitation, etc.. again in the EBR courts. We have a day of prayer. We think He is with us. We are just waiting to see what happens now.

September 8, 2009

I hardly slept the night before. My stomach is a mess. The kids have to come in case the judge wants to speak with them. My mom comes to keep Lou at the house. The children of my heart head off to school. The drive there we pray. I am anxious, but I think I will be ok, as long as donor is not there. We drive around the corner of the court house, and there he is, standing outside smoking with his mom. I actually think I may pass out. My beloved later tells me that the look on my face was pure fear. I make him keep driving to another parking lot, and there we sit. I am now crying, and trying to not worry the kids. They did not see him. Beloved goes inside to find lawyer. I start praying, no I start screaming at God! I am now telling Him how it was not fair that He brought me this far to do this to me! I start posting on FB for people to pray. I text my mom, she is interceding. I text beloveds mom to come to courthouse, I can't go inside with kids, need her to sit with them. I pull out my Bible and start reading God's words back to Him....Psalm 56..."Then my enemies will turn back when I call for help, By this I will know that God is FOR me"..."I NEED YOU TO SHOW ME YOU ARE FOR ME!" I told Him. I prayed. I cried. I then had to go inside. It was time to climb this mountain, but I knew I was not alone. My Pawpaw had told me on the day of prayer that for so long I have been going around and around this mountain, maybe God was going to have me climb it this time. He was right.

It is our turn to go before judge. They clear out the courtroom just for us. Maw in law is hiding kids in another area of courthouse. If they had to speak to judge, we thought it would be really confusing for them to see donor after all these years. It was hard enough for me to see him. Judge asks us all why we are there. Asks donor if he wants to give them up, he says no. He asks for time to get lawyer. She tells him no, she has statements from servers trying to serve him, including the one that had let him read the papers. I am steadily shaking. The court reporter is directly in front of me, I keep looking at her for reassurance. She is a christian, I know. She has peace all over her face, she is praying....for me. She mouths, "it will be ok". The judge calls me up. Asks me history with kids and donor. Asks if I have allowed contact with his mom, yes, I have. Judge calls donor's mom to her. We hear her ask if she has been to my house, how often she sees the kids, and why did donor decide to pay the back support...to this she replied "so he wouldn't go to jail". Judge said "wrong answer". Judge did not allow him to contest. Did not allow him to speak any longer. By the time I realized what was happening, that she was granting the adoption, it was all over! We won! God won! I did it! I climbed the mountain! I stood up against him! I know that God IS for me!!!! We ran out of there to tell the kids. They were so excited! We all now had the same name! Had a new "birthday" celebration at our house that weekend.

As you know, this is not the "end" of my story....but it is the end of Plan A....for good. Under God, and by law...all 5 of the children are my beloved's. For this I am thankful. I never realized until now that Plan A took the whole course of a decade. I remember asking God so many times how long I had to "pay" for my mistake? And how long did the kids have to suffer because of it. Little did I know that God would use all of it for this testimony of how great He is. How incredibly perfect HIS timing is, not mine, and He is truly FOR me.



Now I ask that you please be in prayer with me, because as my story continues, so does the mountain climbing. We still need closure with the "oven"...and know that it is all a matter of timing....HIS timing....

Plan B

STOP! If you have not read yesterday's blog, please do so first, then this will make more sense to you.....

2004

This year marks the beginning of the end of Plan A. By now, donor has found out where we are, and has started calling. I am terrified of him. He has told me he would take the kids from school and disappear. I know now that he never really wanted the kids, it was about controlling me. Someone once told me "what angers you, controls you", and I believe that to be true, but I moreso believe that your fears may control you more. At least mine did. It is a horrible feeling to lie awake at night and wonder what and when something else is going to happen. I knew I needed closure. I knew I needed to keep the kids away from him. Things that he told them about me and about life, doesn't bear repeating. I can only pray that God has erased those memories from them.

This summer I packed the kids in the car and drove to Dallas. We had been invited to visit with donor's brother and family. I decided I needed someone on my side, someone who could help me if I needed, and went...thinking they knew enough about the situation, and knew him enough to know how dangerous it was for us to be around him. They treated us kindly, yet made me feel I was to blame for the goings on. In later years, I would receive emails from these same people saying that if all I said was true, then I would run away with my children, and since I hadn't done that, I was just gossiping and spreading untruths about the family and they wouldn't sit back and listen to it anymore. What? I, again, wondered, "why me". I remember feeling so very alone, and so very hopeless.

Started the 04-05 school year at Comite with Becky and Rhonda. This was, by far, my favorite school year there. Working with these two ladies was God's way of giving me a good dose of the giggles (and a few snorts) everyday. It was for sure, who I needed, again, at this time in my life. And it surely helped that my babies were in preschool with me, so close.
If I remember right, we started filing papers this year about custody/support/divorce. When I say, "we", I mean the HUGE blessing of a parent that knew my situation and offered to do EVERYTHING for free. Did you hear me? I said EVERYTHING, court costs, filing fees, etc... I wouldn't have been able to do it without him.

2005

My baby started kindergarten this year. I cried. I cried because of all the normal reasons a mom cries when her baby starts "real" school, but I also cried because of all that he didn't have and I couldn't give him. He just wanted a dog and a yard. He wanted to do "boy" things. He deserved a daddy, one that would play catch with him and teach him things I couldn't. It was a sad time for me. Again, feelings of "not enough" surfaced.

The kids spent a couple of night with donor at donor's mom's house during this time. They came back in the same clothes they left in and filthy. Her long hair once came back caked with syrup in it. They told me of the pj's that donor's 19 year old gal pal was wearing when they were scared and went to find donor, and she was in his bed. They told me of gal pal's baby, and that donor said it was their brother. I found out that it is not his child, but he was in deliver room and hospital with gal after and claimed it as his. I had a breakdown. Why was he taking care of this child that wasn't his own when he didn't even want the one's he had? I felt so horrible for the kids and what it would mean to them one day, again, feelings of "not good enough" surfaced, for me and for them. Even though I knew I didn't want him, the pain of it overwhelmed me.

Divorce papers were signed, sealed, and delivered in December of this year. We stipulated out of a trial, that he get every other weekend with kids, some shared holidays. He just had to drop them back with me for church on the Sundays he had them. He only kept 3 weekends. Then, he assumed that since he wasn't paying support he didn't get them, I let him assume that. For awhile, I did believe that to be true, but when I found out different, I still didn't tell him. Why would I send my kids there? It was MY job to protect them.

The 05-06 school year was spent alongside Becky. She was my closest friend for 3 years. It helped me so much to have somebody on a daily basis to share with. Even though I didn't have that "other half" at home, I had that in Becky. I knew she always had my back.

I got in a wreck at intersection by the school. Even though it was not my fault, it left me with neck/shoulder problems and out of work. Not so great news for a single mom not getting child support.

During all thee Plan B years, God kept showing Himself to be "for" me....He provided through so many people in so many different ways.
~Christmas 02 came home from a trip (still with donor) to find whole garage FULL of wrapped Christmas presents for the kids. Hundreds of them. We had had NO money for presents. God provided, in a big way.
~In 03 when we moved out, we were blessed with furniture, dishes, appliances....we were in need of nothing.
~A lady from Comite provided all of the girl's diapers and pullups until she was out of the nursery.
~From Aug 03-06, I lost count of how many checks or cash was placed in my purse, taped to my door, given to me "anonymously".
~One year before Thanksgiving I was crying out to God about not being able to provide Christmas for the kids, and so needed groceries too. Within 2 days I received almost $800 cash and laundry baskets full of groceries and paper goods. Plus Gift Cards to Walmart. I still look back and see the hand of God moving....people out of nowhere blessing us. One morning opened the door to see 50 or so youth from a local church on my lawn, delivering groceries. Humbling.


2006

The beginning of Plan B....

I have not dated yet, have you noticed? I made a promise to myself and for the kids that I would not date anyone that I could not see myself marrying. It wasn't fair to me, or to them. Was I lonely? Of course, but I decided that if God planned for me to stay single, then I was going to be the best single mom I could be. My mindset started to change after that, I didn't feel so "in limbo".

In my quest for "single mom of the year" award, I planned a Disney vacation for this summer, using the money I got as settlement from the wreck. I asked my aunt and cousin to come along, to help me and to get away too...they needed to visit the "happiest place on earth" as much as we did. We had a blast! Unfortunately though, before we went, had some drama from donor to deal with....
I started getting strange calls, not from him, but from the former gal pal. The one with the pj's, remember? She was scared for her life and calling to ask me what to do! I told her to call the police, she said she has before and they don't believe her. Hmmm, sounded familiar. She said she thought he was stalking her, I told her to call them and make report. That evening, he called my house and cell over and over and over. When I finally answered, he told me he was coming over to kill me and then going to go find her and beat her. I called, reported....and the next morning filed restraining order. I thought I was scared before, I was really scared then. Not even scared of him doing something to me, scared of having to face him in court when we went about the order. He avoided service for months. I kept refiling, until they told me it was pointless, they needed to stop trying. I remember thinking "this is how people like me get killed". What could I do? I sat out on the levy that final day of court, after dropping the order, crying, when I saw a sparrow hopping around nearby...and God quickened in my spirit, he cares so much for that litle ol' bird, how much moreso is going to take care of me? I was going to be ok.

Spent another school year with Becky.

In September 06 God brought his newly designed perfect plan into my life, to read our story, scroll below.

2007

Started off this year by being blessed with a new vehicle....new to me anyways, and as a GIFT! I couldn't believe, that again, God had saw my need and filled it...beyond my wildest dreams. Those people that helped in providing that didn't even know at the time, that I surely would need that bigger vehicle soon....God was even looking into my future.

March 18, 07 was asked to be a bride. He chose ME!

Spent Easter vacation on one last "getaway" with just me and my babies. We drove to NC to visit with some very dear friends of ours. Friends that continue to bless us in so may ways. It was a great trip. We needed the alone time, just the 3 of us.

Got married May 26, 07. Beautiful day. Blessed day. My plan B...even Better....

Stay tuned...final chapters of this decade tomorrow, you see....God was not finished yet....

The Last Decade

A bloggy friend posted her "Last Decade" a few days ago, and asked people to share theirs. I kept putting it off. Then I thought I just wouldn't do it. This morning however, I have come to the realization that if I don't get some of this out, it will surely eat me alive. So, that being said...this will be a "cleansing" for me so to speak. Some of this will be news to you....maybe it will help you to understand me a little better.

Here goes...

2000

Y2K, what they hey? I remember the first few minutes of the new year wondering if the world as I knew it was about to come crashing down around me. It didn't then, of course, but this was just the beginning of many of those same thoughts throughout this year. If I had known then, what I know now...

I was pregnant with my 1st child, unmarried, and living between California and Nevada. This is not where I envisioned myself when I graduated from high school, this was so "NOT" me. This is what happens when you step out of God's perfect will for your life. I think I blew His "A" plan for me, he has now blessed me with the "B" plan, which we will get to later.
I turned 22 in March, and a week and 9 hours of pushing later, met my first baby. I had no family there with me, only a couple of dear friends and the "donor" as we will call him. My first few days of Mommyhood was learning that I had this overwhelming desire to "protect" this child. I know now that God knew what this baby would need from me....
When he was 6 weeks old, I had had enough of being so far away from home, called my parents and they helped us move back to LA. Worked back at Walgreens for a bit (donor didn't work) until got offered teaching position back at Comite ( I had worked there high school/ college summers). Started in a K4 class in August, working with Melissa and Bridgette. Got married (foolishly) in August also. Found out Oct 13 that donor had been having an affair. Not the first and not the last. It is still amazing to me how I remember that date so vividly. I remember thinking, but we are MARRIED. I then realized that to some people, promises and vows mean nothing...it is all about them. Started have physical issues towards end of Oct....found out was having miscarriage. Lost it naturally. Still kept having issues, Dr said still pregnant, levels still increasing. WHAT?! It was TWINS! For a week tried to get used to idea of having another baby with donor. Didn't matter, because levels started dropping again, lost it but had to have it removed. Guess why I lost those babies? Dr said donor had given me STD, which gave the babies slim to none chance of survival. I did not want to go back "home" to him, but I did, because I had vowed to and because I thought my baby deserved a dad. These were very, very hard times for me. I was ashamed of him, ashamed of myself for being so stupid, and in love with this baby boy that God had blessed me with, despite.

2001

Found out in January was pregnant again. So many emotions. I was on the pill! "God, don't you see what's going on down here?!" Found it she was a girl, and cried. I didn't want a girl, I was scared of a girl. I SO didn't like dresses and bows! And knowing the relationship that I had with my mom at the time, I didn't want to that for me and my own daughter. I was terrified of screwing it up.
I can't remember now if it was in April or May, I just remember my sister being HUGE pregnant, when she came over to find chili and broken dishes all over the house. This was just one of donor's "fits" of rage, and this one over me having no crackers and cheese to go with the chili. Before he left me crying in the midst of the mess, he gave me a time limit to get it cleaned up, get all of mine and the boy's stuff and leave, or it would be on fire at the street when he came home. Remember, I was pregnant, and the boy was only a year old now. My mom called reinforcements and we were out of there and moved it with my parents in hours. I spent 2 days in bed, trying to make sense of it all. I can still remember asking over and over "why me" and "what did I do?"....the feelings of " why am I not good enough" overtook me. Now I know, he wasn't good enough for us.
I started the 01-02 school year with Sissy and Kara in K3. This was the class where I met SO many great families that would help me through some of the tougher times...and yes, they got tougher. Had my baby girl in October. Flew to CA during Christmas with kids and donor, only because he had threatened to take them without me and I was not handing them over. Discovered on this trip that he had a girl living with him. While I was carrying, delivering, and nursing his baby....he was playing house with someone else. Why did I care? Because he was all I knew, and I still thought the kids, both of them now, deserved the chance to have a dad.

2002

Decided on New Years that I would give donor another chance. Now it is like watching a bad Lifetime movie, I can see the mistakes and where things went wrong. But at the time, he had control. People say that physical abuse is much more damaging than verbal, I don't agree. I would rather you hit me. The pain will go away. The damage done with words can scar forever.

So much went wrong this year. I tried to cover up his infidelities, and my pain. Thank goodness, for wonderful ladies at my job at this time. My babies' needs were taken care of, diapers, food, etc... and my emotional ones, the ones that I shared, were being helped. Donor would not work, and I think at that time I was lucky to make $6 per hour. God provided.

Started 02-03 school year with Kara and Jamie in K4, along with many of the same families from the previous year, they just came up with me from K3. I hope they know now what a blessing that was to me. I started visiting a new church this year, too. One that had close, familiar friends from my youth, and new friends from school that went there also, ones that God would end up using in such mighty ways............

2003

To me, this was the year of "freeing". Not until August though, before then...donor kicked my windshield and dash out while I was driving down the interstate, (and I couldn't press charges bc we were married and it community property), threatened to take the kids and run, handed my 3 year old a shotgun and told him to shoot daddy bc mommy hated him and wanted him dead, threw and broke hundreds of things, put holes in every door and wall we had, all in front of both children. Among this, many affairs were had (by him) and many tears were cried (by me). Numerous times God told me it wasn't time to leave yet. You see, I needed a paper trail...I needed proof of his behavior. My grandmother, oh wise one, finally told me not to just pray about it....but TAPE IT! And I did. Nervously, I started leaving a tape player in places I thought he wouldn't notice, and one night, I know it saved my life. Donor came home drunk, about midnight and got mad at me because I wasn't waiting up. Started yelling at me, I pressed record. Got him saying he was going to kick me in the "F @%&ing" head and sit with my boy and watch me die. As soon as he stepped outside, I called 911. They came, took report, listened to tape, and ARRESTED him for assault! They said that if I didn't press charges, they would. He got 2 years probation and a fine, but it was enough. 30 days later, all in God's perfect timing....4 Godly men helped us pack up and move into our own apartment, all in couple hours. Donor told me, "don't call don't write, I don't want to have anything to do with yall anymore..." I knew it wasn't over though. I watched our backs every single day.
Started 03-04 school year with Kara and Charise. One of my parents this year was another that I knew God had sent to me for that season...you see, I looked in her eyes and knew...she needed me too, she walked in the same shoes I did. It is so awesome to me to see how God has known not just what I would need, but "who" I would need, and when.

If you want to read about "Plan B" stay tuned....will finish tomorrow....
Until then, here are my babies....

Beauty is on the Inside

When one of your children come to you saying they need to go to aerobics because they are getting fat....there's a problem.
When that same child writes a "when I get older" wish list for herself that includes wearing makeup, dying her hair, and wearing cooler clothes (which includes high boots and a tank top)....there's a problem.
When again, that same child, states that "everybody" else has something so she must too or she won't be "cool"....there's a really big problem.

So, where do you think the problem lies?

As for me, I have blamed everybody and everything for her frame of mind. From her "past" to her "heredity", to plain old shallowness. My emotions have jumped all over this place in dealing with this situation. I have been angry, disappointed, hurt, sad, and now I am just afraid. Afraid because the simple truth is, there is an enemy out to destroy our children and their innocence. The more the "world" is dangled before their eyes, the more jaded they become on what is truly important.

The fact of the matter is, I want to blame the TV for showing images not even I should see, the musicians and radio stations that make and play so much garbage, the parents that get their children out of their hair by giving them all that they think they want and need (what 8 year old needs an IPhone, a DSI, a PSP, MP3player, AND IPOD?...good gracious, get them a BOOK!), and I want to blame those same parents for allowing their daughters to dress with nothing left to the imagination and allowing their sons to ogle other people's daughters. But I can't, you see, because the enemy just uses those things as tools used against my family, they are not to blame. Those parents and children I mentioned, the enemy is after them too.

So, who IS to blame. The enemy? Partly. "For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers,against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil the heavenly realm" Eph 6:12. But we, as the ones that are going to be accountable for how these children are raised, have to take some of the responsibility too. Not only with what we allow them to watch, listen to, and read...but with what WE watch, listen to, and read too. Moreso, with the way we LIVE in front of them, with what we show them is important.

Ladies, are we teaching our girls that we can't get up and go anywhere unless we spend 2 hours in front of a mirror making sure our "face" is on and every hair is perfect? Are we teaching them that if we don't spend "x" amount on a purse/bag that we aren't somebody? Are we teaching them that if we gain a few pounds that we must starve ourselves or run to the gym so that someone will love us? Are we teaching them that in order to get attention we have to wear clothes that show even "just a little", instead of teaching them that their body is the temple of the holy spirit and should be kept a mystery only to be revealed by the man God has set aside for her?
Same thing with the men...are you teaching our sons to respect women as people, not as possessions? Are you teaching them to work hard for their families, to be diligent to provide, and not just concerned with keeping up with the boats and toys the neighbors have?
Are we all, as their examples, teaching our children to love people for who they are, not what they have or what they can give us? Are we teaching them that things of this world are just temporary? Are we teaching them that true beauty is inside, and that is where God looks. He doesn't care if we are "cool", if we have an IPhone, if we always have every hair in place or how much we weigh. He cares if we are kind, compassionate, unselfish, loving.....that we are thinking of others more than ourselves.

Lord help me in those areas where I am lacking. Help me focus on you and what your desire for me is, not what the world expects of me. Help me be an example of a Godly wife, mom, and woman to my children.....

"Do not love the world or anything in the world. If anyone loves the world, the love of the Father is not in him. For everything in the world-the craving of the sinful man, the lust of his eyes and the boasting of what he has and does-comes not from the Father but from the world" 1 John 2:15,16.

Blended Strokes and Blended Folks

Isn't it just like God to throw me into a life lesson right when I really need it?
Let me start off by saying that it has been a tough weekend for me. I have been questioning God on this "blended" family and why it has to be so dern hard. If anyone thinks that being in a "normal" marriage is hard, or even one with stepchildren...come spend a few days in my shoes. This kind of situation is truly harder than I ever thought it would be. Don't let the name "blended family" fool you. It is not blended.

The definition of blend(ed) is: "to mix together smoothly to create a new substance"; "to combine or mix so that the constituent parts are indistinguishable from one another"; "to create harmonious effect of result". BWAHAHAHA! Um, smoothly? Harmonious? I want to meet the person that pegged this type of family name and slap them. I think "Wackadoodle" family may be more appropriate.

Did you know that 70% of remarriages involving children will end in divorce within 5 1/2 years? I understand why. I think everyone goes into a marriage expecting the "fairytale". Throw in the exes, the kids (yours, mine, ours), in laws (and EX in laws), etc...and you wake up one day to realize that the only part of the fairytale that came true is that you are the "wicked stepmother", and there truly is a "wicked witch" out to destroy you. What happened to the Princess and Prince Charming? What happened to the Fairy Godmother? Where are MY singing animals??

So, where does this "life lesson" come in? Well, a friend posted an invite to a Corks N' Canvas event and I immediately replied that I would go. Why in the world I don't know. I don't care for wine and I surely don't paint! Kept getting that "nudge" in my spirit that I needed to go. Woke up yesterday morning and things didn't go quite as planned. I let the enemy steal my joy, put a cloud over my head, and try to keep me from this "outing". He almost won. I backed out, until I was told "I won't go unless you go". UGH, ok fine. "God, I get it, I'm going for her".

I was wrong.

We found out we were painting an "impressionist" painting that involves a lot of blending on the canvas. You have got to be kidding me. I was beginning to loathe that word. Even seeing it in a recipe made me want to yak. Nothing ever blends like it is supposed to, at least not in my world.
We start off by blending 3 colors together to make this "orange"color, ok I did that. Now paint it on the top. Ok. Now let's go back over it and blend another color over the top. WHAT? WHY? It was fine like it was! Why mess it up now? Ok fine. Did that. Ok, now blend ANOTHER color on top of that one. ERR. The whole thing is going to be messed up! I'm scared to even try! Ok, did it, and it looks pretty good!

You get the idea. If we had left those paintings with just orange on the top and blue on the bottom. It wouldn't have been half as beautiful. The blending added depth, character, beauty, ...LIFE to the painting.
Just as in my painting, there are two dominant colors in our "blended" family. But without the rest of the colors, those two would never be the masterpiece that God intends it to be. He is the artist of our painting, the Bible our "brush" helping us blend smoothly and gracefully. In my painting, the orange didn't get in a huff and jump off the canvas because the purple was trying to blend with it. It allowed the artist to blend the two to make something more desirable. Lord, I pray I can be more like the orange....

Five Question Friday

I've been told that it's "Five Question Friday" in the blogosphere, and seeing as I'm new to this I'm going to take my bloggy friend's word for it, and join in!
Here goes~

1.) What's your "comfort food"?
Well, I downed half a container of Baskin Robbins "Jamoca Almond Fudge" last night, so I'm thinking maybe ice cream? Or coffee. Or coffee ice-cream???
As for "real" food, I go through phases. Sometimes I think all of my problems would be solved after I hit the Chinese buffet, and sometimes a big ol' juicy, drippy, fried egg-wearin' cheeseburger from Times makes me see clearly.


2.) Do you send Thank-You's (handwritten or email)?
Most certainly do! Even though I've been told that I don't HAVE to do it (you know who you are Christy Lynn 2, sshhh, don't tell her I told who), I do it because I WANT to do it. It's like a transaction at the store, it's not finished unless you get the receipt. My thank you's are the receipt, and if I don't send them the transaction isn't finished in my mind. And we all know how my mind is, the less in there cloggin' it up, the better!
Since the kid's have been able to write, they have sent them too. Hey, so what if it's the fill in the blank, "I like the _____ because it is ______" kind. It works.


3.) If you had to be trapped in a TV show for a month, which show would you choose?
What do you mean, "if"? I AM trapped in one. "Everybody Loves Raymond" is my life. Enough said.


4.) What is your favorite online recipe site?
Is it wrong to think of your slow cooker as part of the family?
www.crockpot365.blogspot.com


5.) If you had to choose: "Friends" or "Seinfeld"?
I only really like 2 Seinfeld episodes, the "Soup Nazi" and "Elaine dancing". HA! "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!!"
So...I choose "Friends"...unless, I could watch Elaine dance over and over again...*snort*.

I am my Beloved's, and He is Mine.

Have you met my husband yet? Here he is, the love of my life.

It took me 28 years and 1 failed marriage to find him. He is God's gift to me, because I surely wasn't looking for him. In fact, I was looking for someone to build my daughter a princess bed, or at least a headboard. I knew his family from church, knew of his story being similar to mine, and knew that he was a carpenter. So, hesitantly I asked his mom for his email address (it was safer for me that way, in my comfort zone), and so it began.

After that first email I found myself rushing home like a teenager hoping he had written me back! And when he did, I found myself reading them over and over again, wondering how in the world this guy could have the same sense of humor as me, how could he feel the same way as I did about our pasts, and how could I possibly be falling for someone I haven't even spoken to yet???? Wait, what? Yep, I was falling for him. When I realized I was, you would think that I would have trusted that THIS WAS HIM, the one GOD picked out specifically for ME! Guess what, nope I didn't. My body started playing tricks on me. I didn't eat for a week, everything tasted like metal. I was having a full blown anxiety attack...WHY?

Fear. I had been hurt so badly. Cried too many tears. Been strong for myself and my two children even when I wanted to just stay in bed and pull the covers up over my head. I trusted no man. Not with me, and not with my kids. We couldn't be hurt again. Not ever. I told God to take my feelings for him away. It wasn't worth the hurt. He didn't listen. Instead, my feelings GREW!

I prayed more, I had others that had been supports systems for us praying too. After our first "family" movie date, I knew. I was going to marry this man. I went to work and told them. It was a done deal. Now he just had to ask. And he did, on top of the monkey bars, at my kids school and my work, with all four of our kids close by...he told me he wanted me to be his wife, no matter what. I said yes, for me and for my kids. We would go on this adventure with him....we would trust him.


On May 26, 2007, we were married after dating only 8 months, with all of the people who had supported us both through our hard times looking on. My son gave me away. Afterall he had been the man of the house for 5 years. Our four children stood with us, and we all vowed to each other to love each other and always look to God....for He was the only reason we were together. As "Broken Road" was sung, I knew God had given me "beauty" for my "ashes". The inscription on the ring I chose for him is in Hebrew. It says, "I am my beloved's and my beloved is mine".

Two and a half years later, we are full of testimonies. Including the birth of our daughter last year. God has surely had his hand upon us. That does not mean it has been easy, some days have been hell on earth. Those are the days I have forgotten that "what God has joined together may no man tear apart"...including me. May I never forget again.

P.S. I never did get that Princess bed built....hmmmm....

Crockpot Bacon & Cheese Chicken

Yes, for my first official blog I am posting a recipe. Whoo hoo! But you have asked for it my friends, so here it is.

--2 T olive oil
--4-6 chicken breast halves, or equivalent bird pieces (I used 8 halves)
--12 pieces cooked and crumbled bacon
--1/4 cup teriyaki sauce
--1/2 cup Ranch salad dressing
--1 cup shredded cheddar cheese



The Directions.

Put the 2 tablespoons of olive oil into the bottom of your crock and spread it around. If you are using thighs or fattier cuts of meat, this step is probably optional.

Put the chicken in the crock on top of the oil.

In a small bowl, combine the teriyaki sauce and the ranch dressing. Pour sauce over the top of the chicken. Add the shredded cheese and the crumbled bacon to the crock, getting between the chicken pieces, if you can.

Cover and cook on low for 6-8 hours, or on high for 3-4. The cooking time will depend on how thick your chicken pieces are, and if they are fresh or frozen. (I cooked mine 7 hours on low)

I served with garlic mashed taters and mixed veggies (thought of you Ashlie, lol!).

It smelled up the house great and tasted soooo yummy! My hubby was sad he had to wait until supper time to eat it with the rest of us!